2010

as the year draws to an end i look back and think of words to describe it.. but there are too many. some good, some bad.

the year of 2010 brought change, new surroundings, new friendships, new life. throughout 2010 alot of things changed, not only in family life, but in social life, work life, church life etc. every aspect of my life had a change in it, in the end it was all for the better. no matter how hard it seemed at the time.

2010 was & is a good year, and i'll never forget it. thankyou to all my new friends, and passed friends for all you're support this year. thanks to everyone who helped me with something.. which most of you have. and thanks for making 2010 awesome.

love you all to bits. :)

and look forward to journeying through 2011 with you!

have a good christmas, & remember the true meaning. :)

happy new year!

see you all soon :)

xxxx

two years.

it's weird to think that in six days it will be:
two years since my parent's told me they were getting divorced.
two years since my dad lay in that hospital bed.
two years since i wondered why he was there.
two years since i cried myself to sleep.
two years since i was broken & hurt.
two years since my heart was ripped to pieces.
two years since i was so confused, i didn't know what to with my self.
two years since i realized who my real friends were.

two years since i found my savior.

it's actually so weird to think how much i have changed over the last two years, it's been tough but it's been one hell of a ride & i wouldn't have my life any other way.

over the last two years, i've experienced loss in so many different ways: family being torn apart, death, friends leaving my side because "i'm not the person i used to be" & loss of identity.

but over the last two years, i have gained so much, it completely out weights the loss's. i've gained a family, a father, a savior, i've gained friends i never thought i'd meet, i've gained relationships i never wish to lose, i've gained support from so many wonderful people, i've gained my identity back, i'm a different person now, but i'm a better person. i've grown a relationship with our creator, & i know it will continue to grow and blossom for the rest of my life. i know he will never leave my side.

it's weird to think that two years ago, my parent's getting divorced was the worst thing in the world, and believe me it semt that way, but now i look back on the last two years and i think.. look at who i've become, look at the amazing works god has done in my life. who would i be without these last two years?

god !

throughout my life, i've faced many struggles, many hiccups along a short life. many thing's that have torn me into a million pieces and i never thought i'd be whole again.

when i was 13, my parents got divorced.. to be completely honest it tore me pieces. i felt alone in the world. i felt unloved and lost.. it was horrible.

someone asked me the question:

"did you become a Christian just because someone said you should... or did you become one because you saw what a Christian was and then become one?"

my response was:

honestly, i became a christian because i needed someone to love me that would never leave me. i thought christianity was stupid because thats what my parents told me from whhen i was young. then when they god divorced i felt like i had no one, no one to be there for me. and i knew that at valley camps they always talked about god loving you and never leaving you and it wasnt until that point in my life that everything they had said began to make sence. i started praying a hell of a lot because i couldnt handle my parents divorce at all,, i couldnt handle any of it. it tore me to peices. their were times when all i wanted to do was die.. but i reacon god brought me out of it. showed me that he loved me and if i didnt pick up my bible in that time.. i wouldn't be here. i wouldve done something stupid. praise god, for bringing such amazing people into my life (:

when questions like these are asked to me.. it really amazes me. god has done SO much in my life! if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be here.

in the beginning of job 39 it says:

"do you know when the mountain goats give birth? do you watch when the doe bears her fawn? do you count the months till they bear? do you know the time they give birth? they crouch down and bring forth their young. their labor pains are ended. their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds; they leave and do not return."

we read this bible verse out in small groups at youth on friday and it really struck me, our god cares and loves for each living thing on our planet and he has plans for all of us. (jeremiah 29:11) he cares about things that are so insignificant to us.. he plans the life of doe's and their children as he does for us! he has great plans for us!

i'm truely glad i have been able to experience god's amazing presence throughout my life, he is amazing and has changed me from the inside out and i will be forever grateful, as he saved my life. <3